....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
