Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Congratulations! We have a period
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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