I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
