Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
