I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
