In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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