Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
