hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
