Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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