Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
