What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
