I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
