there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
