If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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