No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
