the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
