There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why didn't you poke me back
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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