Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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