the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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