Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
