Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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