we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
