You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
