He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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