people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
