I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm both gender and math confused
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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