I wish I only lived at night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
