I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
