erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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