I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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