Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
