If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
