Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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