youre lurking in front of me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
