DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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