It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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