Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
