i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
