it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
