Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
