I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
