Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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