i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
