i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
