By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
