3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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