just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
