so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you win again, gameday.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
