he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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