bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
