Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
