Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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