I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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