Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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