I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
