There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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