The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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