I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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