Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
