hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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