No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
