just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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