when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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